Today has been one of those days. I had a nasty disagreement with a relative over nothing. She's still sore about it. And I am pissed about being treated like a child until she needs something from me that only a grownup can give. And, even then, I still need paternalistic guidance.
I found out that one of my mentors is not what I thought. My mom is dead [big sigh!]. My emotionally estranged dad is hospitalized from the effects of his life choices and refuses to change. Siblings!-- [Insert angsty retort!].
With all of my familial strife, my first, second and last instinct is to run away. But somewhere inside of me is this drive to use this stress to make me better. I'm not yet sure how.
As I reflect on my family situation, this Regina Spektor song plays in my head. "Always one foot on the ground..." That's how I feel about my family. It's sticky and I can't quite detach myself. But I am hopeful.