It's been a while, I know. Things got a little busy and, unfortunately, it was easy to drop blogging. But, baby, I'm back!
The past couple of days have been difficult for me. I had a text exchange with a relative who has essentially told me that she loves me but she doesn't want me to make her daughter my beneficiary. I'm not sure I understand it, but I definitely feel rejected. We've had this exchange a couple of times before where I try to get information to make this young lady my beneficiary; my requests are ignored. Kind of a bummer. Since I have no children or spouse she would get the bulk of my paltry retirement benefits as well as life insurance. But I got a no.
Follow up emails make me wonder if the mother really understands what I was asking. But I don't want to belabor the point. And I don't want to set myself up to get punched in the gut again. Instead, I will continue to check in with the daughter directly (she's over 18, but her mother wanted me to ask her first) to find out if she needs anything that I can help with.
I can be positive about the situation. It's the closing of another chapter at home. The cutting of ties that have tethered me to a place where I've not always felt at home. And, as my aunt said to me last night, I am a good person and this doesn't reflect on me.
But honestly, I am hurt. I feel rejected all over again. And really sad.
So, as I think over today, this song comes to mind. Adele seems quite capable of singing my emotions for me.