Song of the Day: Friday

As much as I'd like to proclaim my happiness, I cannot. I am in a bit of a funk.

Work is going well enough. My lecture was a bit short today. Was asked if my class was pass-fail. Interesting question since I've talked about grades in class and the syllabus gives the grading breakdown. Strange for sure.

And, I am now bummed about my childhood. I feel like my homelife set me up, in some ways, for bad, unshakeable habits. I'd like to think that I will get married and have kids. But, I don't want to bring this kind of brokenness into a new family. Ugh!

This song describes my mood, in a quirky sort of way.

Song of the Day: Thursday

Somehow this week got away from me. I've been prepping for Friday's class and now, it's the day before.

I felt newly invigorated this morning and was craving 80's music. It made me think of this song. It's a shame that he over-lipsynchs and is a bit too clowny towards the end. Could have been a great video.

Song of the Day: Wednesday

This week has moved rather quickly. I'm not sure what I expected. Maybe it's the euphoria of having given my first quiz. Maybe it's all of the appointments breaking up the day. Maybe it's me relaxing into my stride.

I've done my good deed by mailing a present to an alum I know. I've worked to keep my students informed and I am ahead of the curve in terms of preparing my lecture for Friday. I've even been given the name of a local shop that might be able to work on my car and has good customer service. All plusses in my book.

A little sappy, but this it today's song.

Song of the Day: Monday

Work seems to be a little slow, which is ridiculous. I have plenty to do, just not tons of people demanding my time. I gave my first quiz on Friday and am happy to note that the majority did well. That makes me happy.

But, there's still a lingering sadness for me about Friday and Saturday's communication. Really frustrated, too.

I'm back to my old tricks of using music to improve my mood. This song is so powerful.

Song of the Day: Sunday

Despite my bout of melancholy, I'n still mostly happy. It's nice to drive my little stick shifter around  with the sun roof open and just a little bit too much sun shining through. Kind of nice to kick back.

This song has been playing in my mind and on the radio a lot as I cruise around SB.

Song of the Day: Tuesday

For the past few weeks I've been dying to listen to KT Tunstall. Every once in a while I get this sassy, pop-y feeling and need my music to match. Alas, my iPod has betrayed me.

For a while I kept getting a message on my work computer that my iPod needed to be reformatted. I ignored it until I could no longer play music on my work PC. So, I reformatted it at home and reloaded everything.

Now I am being punished for having a Mac at home. I can no longer play my iPod at work on my PC because it won't recognize my Mac formatting. Woe is me!

So, today I pulled up this video to get my fix.

Song of the Day: Saturday

It's been a while, I know. Things got a little busy and, unfortunately, it was easy to drop blogging. But, baby, I'm back!

The past couple of days have been difficult for me. I had a text exchange with a relative who has essentially told me that she loves me but she doesn't want me to make her daughter my beneficiary. I'm not sure I understand it, but I definitely feel rejected. We've had this exchange a couple of times before where I try to get information to make this young lady my beneficiary; my requests are ignored. Kind of a bummer. Since I have no children or spouse she would get the bulk of my paltry retirement benefits as well as life insurance. But I got a no.

Follow up emails make me wonder if the mother really understands what I was asking. But I don't want to belabor the point. And I don't want to set myself up to get punched in the gut again. Instead, I will continue to check in with the daughter directly (she's over 18, but her mother wanted me to ask her first) to find out if she needs anything that I can help with.

I can be positive about the situation. It's the closing of another chapter at home. The cutting of ties that have tethered me to a place where I've not always felt at home. And, as my aunt said to me last night, I am a good person and this doesn't reflect on me.

But honestly, I am hurt. I feel rejected all over again. And really sad.

So, as I think over today, this song comes to mind. Adele seems quite capable of singing my emotions for me.