Song of the Day: Saturday

I am back in New York. Travel was easy but Auntie Anne's failed me. This was the first time I bought a pretzel dog that was not quite done or soggy; not sure which. Ick! Got a refund.

Flew USAir and got my bags lost again. This time I brought it as a carryon and it wouldn't fit in the overhead. They checked it for free, but it never made it to New York. They were to deliver last night, but my cell phone was dead. However, I had called earlier to give my home number as a back up.

I was assured that my file had been updated and that the delivery driver had my updated number. Not true. So, still I sit in my apartment waiting for a deliver. I was told that it  be delivered between noon and four. I got a call before one asking if I would be available between 4:30 and 5 to receive my baggage. When I mentioned that I'd earlier been told I'd have it by four, the story changed to 3:30-4:00. It is quarter to four and no bag. I would like to attend mass tonight. hopefully it will arrive before then.

Anyway, when I returned to my apartment I discovered that one of my relatives had called to "be sure I made it back okay." This relative also made some pale statement in form of apology regarding yesterday's behavior after I confronted on what had been said. Reminded me of this song. A cheesy 80's song as usual.

Song of the Day: Friday

Today has been one of those days. I had a nasty disagreement with a relative over nothing. She's still sore about it. And I am pissed about being treated like a child until she needs something from me that only a grownup can give. And, even then, I still need paternalistic guidance.

I found out that one of my mentors is not what I thought. My mom is dead [big sigh!]. My emotionally estranged dad is hospitalized from the effects of his life choices and refuses to change. Siblings!-- [Insert angsty retort!].

With all of my familial strife, my first, second and last instinct is to run away. But somewhere inside of me is this drive to use this  stress to make me better. I'm not yet sure how.

As I reflect on my family situation, this Regina Spektor song plays in my head. "Always one foot on the ground..." That's how I feel about my family. It's sticky and I can't  quite detach myself. But I am hopeful.

Song of the Day: Thursday

It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

This is one of those milestone years when people get maudlin and try to drown their sorrows. When I was younger, I was obsessed; I used to think I was gonna pull a Jimi or a Marilyn. So I am quite happy to have made it to this birthday.

Thinking of this birthday reminded me of this song. Not quite a birthday song, but not one you hear U2 singing so often either. Happy Birthday to me!

Song of the Day: Wednesday

Happy Fourth of July!

Song of the Day: Tuesday

For the longest time I have felt as if I was on the verge of something great. It's that feeling of anticipation as if,  just around the corner, there is some tremendous prize waiting just for you. I've felt like that for a few years and I didn't know what it was.

Now, as I prepare to move for a new job, I wonder is this what it was? Maybe. But is there more? If so, obviously I accept.

Anyway, I think of this song whenever I contemplate my future. Or when I am trying to cheer myself up. It came out when I was in high school and at my science and math school we loved it. It's a little dated now but I still love it.

Song of the Day: Monday

Monday did not turn out the way I'd thought. I visited my grandmother and she usually presses me into service. I am normally enlisted to drive her around to run errands. She told me that she prefers me to one of my uncles because she likes to have someone walk with her and grab things off the shelf if she needs help; my uncle usually waits for her in the car or on the bench until she is done.

However, when I arrived, she didn't want to run errands. She talked to me. She fed me. She sent me to nap in her bed. We talked some more. And she suggested that Friday would be a good day to go shopping. Nice!

Another positive for Monday? I finally got my lease by email!!! I now have a place to live! I won't be living in a paper bag. Granted I knew this from the beginning, but it's always nice to have confirmation!

Speaking of paper bags, this song came to mind. It's that same one I chose when I was about to move to Gotham, but it's still a good one.

Song of the Day: Sunday

It's always a good thing when I can be around my best friend. We've known each other since 7th grade. She knows stuff about me that will never be tortured from her lips. Because of this, I definitely am relaxed when I am around her--unless I am in the midst of a crisis. She knows me well enough that I don't have to explain myself unless the parameters of my life have changed. And I trust her enough to be myself around her.

I relayed to her an incident from last week and asked her advice on how to be a "nice girl". Her answer was a balm to my soul: I don't need to work on being a nice girl because I didn't do anything wrong. She agreed with me that the other party in the encounter had been rude. My manners were fine (since we were brought up the same way) and that it might be a matter of different manners in the north. Or the midwest, as the case may be. No need to change myself to be someone that I am not. People really need to get to know ME rather try to make me like them. Whew!

Anyway, her words of encouragement reminded me of "Hotel Song" by Regina Spektor. I like this cover by Irma. Come into my world....